My eSports Story (For Archival Purposes)

Last year, someone asked me to write an in-depth article about my journey into eSports. It was a bit of a personal essay for me, and highlighted my mindset, mental health and progress at the time. This was originally posted October 11, 2013; about one week after coming home from the League of Legends World Championships in Los Angeles.

While I could probably write a part two by now, I found that this post was removed from the site that originally hosted it. I’m re-posting it here, mostly to keep an archive that I can refer to later.

Late last week Mike asked me to write something for the site outlining my journey into the business of eSports; while I’m still in the process of taking that journey, I figured it’d be good to give you guys a look into what the opening stages look like.

Especially since my interviews from the Season 3 World Championship, I’ve been getting a lot more questions about how one starts writing in League of Legends or other gaming, and from my perspective, it can be really difficult to answer. While I’ve gotten numerous articles published about the game, I have to stress that I am not making enough money to sustain myself on just eSports.

I get by by taking a lot of other contract work and by diversifying what I can provide in order to make as much money from as many different sources as possible. Ask any freelancer: they will be doing the same thing.

However, when you start writing about anything, you will usually not be able to command money if it is not part of a larger, salaried job. I’m 24 now; I started blogging about pop culture on my own site when I was 16. From there I attended journalism school at Ryerson University in Toronto, and graduated from a four-year program from one of the best programs of its type in North America. My point is that this is not an instantaneous process: it takes time.

I started writing about League because it’s part of a bad habit I’ve been taking part in since I started writing: I take what I enjoy and apply something I’m good at (writing) in order to contribute or be part of it. Just like freelance web developers will code themes for fansites, I wanted to make my mark on this game, and if the conditions were right, make money from something I enjoyed.

At the time, ggChronicle.com was a site that had a reasonable amount of influence in the League scene. It is owned by Christopher “MonteCristo” Mykles, OGN caster and CLG coach; it also staffed a number of volunteers that contributed to scene news, interviews, larger videos and a podcast. There I found a place that would publish the stuff I had to say, and it had enough clout within the community that players and other figures knew of it.

I published a lot of Scene News there as an exercise to pay attention to the eSports scene, and to keep the flow of content to the site coming. I also got the opportunity to do four profiles that were more my speed — I wrote a lot of longer features during journalism school, so this was something unique I had to offer.

These profiles were really well-receieved in the community because they were something that wasn’t being done. Finding something unique that you can offer is paramount in “breaking in” to eSports. I also contributed to ggC’s “Twelve Days of eSports” articles, which did a major preview of every team playing in the Season 2 World Championships. I got Dignitas, and wrote a less-than-flattering account of their chances; they don’t hate me to this day, so I think I didn’t do too bad.

Timeline-wise, we’re around November/December 2012 — the LCS had been announced, and things were getting a whole lot more serious. I was working at a software company that I didn’t particularly enjoy, and I thought that freelancing was something I could do in order to get closer to what I found fulfilling.

I did the math up in my head, and it checked out: I’d be able to write and produce work and still be able to pay my bills. The catch here was that I wasn’t making any money from League writing at all. I was:

• Working for the Toronto Star doing reviews every two weeks. This was my major money.
• Working for AndroidPolice.com (and later MobileSyrup.com) doing Android app reviews
• Writing for ggChronicle doing profiles, scene news and other things

In my head, I had enough to make it work, and on November 7th 2012, I left my stability, benefits and salary for a little bit of adventure; this also meant leaving ggChronicle, as I needed to concentrate on paid work instead of volunteer gigs. After two months, though, theToronto Star restructured their freelancers and suddenly I was out of a major part of my income. It was then I had the first of many money-related panics: I was on a month-to-month lease, but I did not want to admit defeat so early.

As an aside, I think it’s a good time to mention that if you can swing it, have something stable sustaining your writing on the side. I’ve had some really scary situations (mostly due to my own poor planning) that would’ve been a lot easier if I had backup plans.

2013 started off with two major projects: working for Riot and Polygon. The latter was a bit of an adventure, as I was already writing a feature for them and I applied for a press pass to OGN OLYMPUS Champions Winter 2012; on four days notice, I convinced my editor to fly me to Korea in order to cover the event in the last days of January.

It was my first live League of Legends event, and I had a blast — however, neither of my articles for Polygon ended up getting published, which left me feeling really, really dejected. I was counting on them to be great for my career as well as the community, and when it didn’t work out it… sucked.

In December 2012 I also applied for a position opening up at Riot called a Contributing Editor for LoLeSports.com. After a two-month job process (including an in-person interview at Riot) I was put on a three-month contract. They had not hired the person I would be working under, and they needed to get the site populated in time for the LCS.

I got to write match write-ups, interview some players and generally be useful to the Riot staff; it involved a lot of time-shifted hours, so the first weekend I was writing about LCS Spring Qualifiers in the EU region. This meant all-nighters, and gave me a taste of what hardcore time Riot puts into their product. People in the eSports department are just machines, and I respect each and every one of them; I stayed up alongside Riot Shantzilla, Riot Chopper, Riot Magus, Riot Rara, Obscurica and NeoIllusions for every weeks’ matches, including the All-Stars in China.

During this time there was also some issues with my finances, as some changes at Riot meant I was delayed in getting my first check. This was probably the scariest and lowest point I’ve been in my life in terms of the amount of money I had in my account and the help I needed from others to survive; a large part of it was my poor planning. I’m the type of person to feel really guilty about the money I borrow from other people, so while my parents asked, I hid behind a guise of everything being “fine.” In reality I lived for around two months with less than a hundred dollars in my account; I am surprised I am not sick of rice, beans and peanut butter sandwiches.

Eventually I got paid, which helped me top off my credit card and get back to a sense of normalcy, but as my contract ended in May I found out that Riot would not be hiring full-time writers in favor of farming the work out to freelancers. This was a big hit to my morale, as this notice and the news about my Polygon stories being killed happened in the same week. In short, I was frustrated at my work (maybe if I was better, I would’ve been hired, or published), myself, and just the industry in general.

At this time I also took part in the Geek & Sundry Vlogger Search, which was probably the worst thing to do in my current state of mind. I didn’t have much confidence in my work, so putting a numbered vote behind my chances of working with a company I admire was really not a smart idea for my self-esteem. I got 900+ votes when the structure of the contest meant that the top 30 were the only ones people could discover organically; I’m proud I did that well, but I couldn’t compete against a former Big Brother winner, or a dude with 11,000 YouTube subscribers.

I was deflated, sad and just withdrawn. I had no idea whether this was a time to give up or not, as Riot was realistically the only company that could bring me closer to eSports: many publications will not hire writers full-time, never mind help them with visas.

I’m not really proud to say that I was in a really broody period for most of June, as my productivity slowed to a crawl. I enjoyed stepping out of eSports for a bit, though, and I’d like to revisit my idea for a vlog; however, when the work you do puts the food on your table, sometimes you cannot afford to devote more time to jobs that won’t immediately pay. Coincidentially, it was at this time I got a gig writing blog posts and doing social media for another software company, which at least kept my bills paid.

Also in July, I made a goal at my therapist’s suggestion (journalists kinda need them, sometimes) that I needed a timeframe in order to really give my full effort towards my career. What I settled on was that if I couldn’t get to the Season Three World Championships by my own money or another company sending me, I would quit eSports. Luckily, Riot finished paying me out from my contract and I had a decent lump of change in my account, so I decided that I would pay my own way and be able to write for as many different publications as possible.

A large part of being successful in a freelance career is having a good portfolio of work to show prospective employers. While I enjoyed writing, I realized that video is a huge part of League eSports, and if I wanted to become a personality, I would need to step in front of the camera more. After the Geek & Sundry competition I started producing things on my own site and YouTube channel, which included articles, thinkpieces and Skype interviews with pro players. These was me just practicing, but the latter garnered some interest from a couple different sites; and I ended up taking them to LoLKing.net.

LoLKing (and ZAM, their parent company) ended up being the chief source of income for World Championships, as I did recorded interviews with pros for their YouTube channel; I made the opportunity for myself by doing what I wanted to get paid for with the same quality I would bring a publication. This is important because you aren’t selling potential or an idea: when you want money for what you can do, it needs to be worthy of pay at that moment.

I also sent out roughly thirty pitches to newspapers, magazines and gaming publications in order to write about the Season 3 World Championships, and received a large amount of e-mails saying “no money”. This is a harsh reality of journalism, where large publications will not have any budget for freelancers, especially at the end of the year (the event happened in October). Eventually I found a publication I could work with, and that article is still being produced as we speak.

Ultimately, Worlds was a great experience because I got a better idea of how people in the business work. Many people have crew members shooting their video or editing it, which means they have more time to schmooze with players or set up interviews; there were also many crews there that I can speculate Riot was much more interested in accommodating. I don’t blame them — the company is a business, and needs to think about return on investment for letting people backstage.

It’s really easy to look at these outlets and think, “crap, I’m so far below them. I’m not as important. I’ll never get there”, but the important thing is to focus on the work you are capable of doing, and use it as a springboard higher. I had a few rough days at Worlds (particularly the early ones) where I questioned my confidence: I felt like I was so far below a lot of other people and I couldn’t catch up.

However, people I respected noticed what I was doing and their kind words let me know I was on the right track. These also helped to drown out the particularly rough comments, which everyone (especially people starting out) will receive. I also realized that I was a one-man crew with limited resources, knowledge and experience — all I could really do was buckle down, accept my shortcomings and just work until I erased them.

Regardless of whether you’re at an event for the first time or starting your first vlog/blog, the important thing is to produce something that is unique and valuable to other people. If your idea for a vlog is to do a wrap-up show of the week’s news, do not do it unless you can make it different from the dozens out there. Likewise, if you want to do match recaps on a blog, realize that there are Reddit threads that will do it better and quicker; you need to do something unique that makes your product more valuable.

Niches allow you to be creative and bring something that is uniquely “you” to the table. It also allows you to make yourself stand out among a crowded pack. However, be aware that they also sacrifice mass appeal — some people may not like you, especially if you’re competing against a well-established incumbent.

I got back to Toronto the Monday after World’s, and I was exhausted. I produced 22 interviews over my time there, gave out around 50 business cards and met many people whose passion is admirable. While I reached that goal I mentioned earlier, there’s still a next step: I need to capitalize on what I gained at World’s in order keep my momentum going.

What I want people to leave with most from this story is that there is never really a point where you’ve “won” at this job; if you’re a freelancer, your success is defined by your hustle, and you will need to keep hustling in order to get more money. There is a boatload of failure you were experience along the way, including disappointments that will haunt you; you’re defined by how you learn from these failures, and by not being discouraged by them.

Don’t for a second think that people who look like they’ve had a magic ride to the top haven’t had these failures, either. They have, and they’ve been much better about hiding them, or they’ve been forgotten. The trick is to do so much work that failures are less of a make-or-break situation, and just an opportunity that did not work out.

I’m still working at this: even as I come home from Worlds, I found out that I was laid off from my blog-and-social-media job, leaving me back to hustle again. While I’d like to say “okay, no big deal”, this was a huge part of my income — my main goal for the future is having more stability, so I can take more chances on things that may be lower-paying or a risk.

This article turned out to be way longer than I anticipated, but I’d like to thank Mike for having me; it was therapeutic to write, and I hope it helps a lot of you get an idea of the path that eSports journalists (or well, journalists in general) take to produce content about the things we love.

If you have any further questions, you can reach out to me on Twitter or ask questions to my Ask.FM; the latter is better for long-form stuff. Until then, good luck, and I hope you find your place in this crazy business called eSports.